we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
