Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
