the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
