so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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