HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well you can't waste a boner
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't put those talents on a resume
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
