I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
