you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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