Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
