Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
