I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
