if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
