1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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