Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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