i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
false alarm, still single
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
