I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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