she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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