Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize