coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i dont even know how to be here
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
