Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The feeling are messing with the penis
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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