Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
