Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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