playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
