omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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