if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
