And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
