so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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