I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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