God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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