well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
