time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize