You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
