Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
