Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
