I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
