At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
