i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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