I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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