i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
