You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize