My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize