We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
3 2 1 whiskey
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
