Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Michael Bay diarrhea
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
