At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
