btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Did I show you my penis last night?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
