I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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