i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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