I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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