White coat. Heels.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
