i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
