I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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