Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize