Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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