butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
