scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
