if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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