Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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