singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
