No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
